I Am No Good at Weddings

Greetings everyone, I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I had meant to update everyone yesterday with last weekend's goings-on, but around 4pm that day, I got a call from the apartments I was moving into on Friday, and they told me I had been rejected. Apparently I make too much money to fit their Affordable Housing requirements. Huh? Two things: 1) You could have let me know more than 72 hours before I have to be out of my house, and 2) you don't drop your rent to pander to the lower-income families, so I guess you're just scamming the system to get whatever government handouts you receive for being under Affordable Housing. Dicks. Well, Tuesday was very hectic with me running all over town, and when I got home, I proceeded to get drunk and watch election coverage (more on that later). But today I found a place to move into, and I'll be Dolly Madison for the move on Friday, so that's a relief. Aaaaaaaaannnyway, onto last weekend in St. Louis.

This was one of the best weddings I ever remember attending. From the ceremony, to the reception, the friends I hadn't seen for far too long (about 3 or 4 years for one), and the shenanigans after the reception, this was mucho divertido. I wish I had pictures, but they won't be ready until Friday. Stupid Wal-Mart.

At the ceremony, I actually found myself quelling a tear or two as Phil and Jessica were exchanging vows. You probably would have done the same, listening to the love in their voices as they tried not to cry with these huge smiles on their faces. Aww, listen to me, I'm sounding so horribly Hallmark.

Then the reception, held at some Anheuser-Busch conference center. Beer flowed like wine, the arrangements were very well done, the food was awesome(prime rib AND chicken...la di da), and it was a pretty decent turnout. Sorry, I could go into more detail, but I still have another post after this and I could really let this get away from me. You'll thank me later, if you aren't thanking me now. But we danced and drank well into the night. When they finally shut the place down around 11:30 or so (I think), we headed back to the hotel. This is where Jeff Wussler had a stroke of genius.

Jeff was a groomsman, so he had a tux on. While we were drinking in our room, he tells me he wants to go out and show off the tux, because how often can you go to a bar looking that snazzy? I wasn't looking too shabby myself, so I decided to join him. On the way, he tells we should act like he just got left at the altar today and see what happens. So we get to That One Place and sit at the bar. Jeff plays it off perfectly. He looks like he's fighting between rage and tears, and I'm trying to solace him. I also take his phone when he acts like he's calling her. I tell the bartender what heppened and that he needs something strong to pick him up. We each get a Jaeger bomb, and they tell us they're on the house. Jeff supresses a smile and we take our drinks. He starts talking to the bartender and other patrons and I get us two beers (again, on the house). God bless that kid. Everyone felt really bad for him...I guess no one would even to think to question a story like that, who would make something like that up anyway? Jeff Wussler, that's who, and that's why I love the guy. POST OVER!!