To the Old, Long Life and Treasure; To the Young, All Health and Pleasure.

From everyone here at Pandering to Savages, we'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year. May 2007 bring you health, joy, prosperity, and another Cardinal World Series victory.

Pop Open a Bottle of Bubbly...Here's to Another Goddamn New Year

Any excuse to mention Dismemberment Plan (may you rest in peace) is alright with the folks here at P2S. But today is extra special, because I'll be blasting "Ice of Boston" throughout the day. Sing along with the lyrics below. Rock Lang Syne!

Pop open a bottle of bubbly…yeah
Here's to another goddamn new year.
And outside, 2 million drunk Bostonians
Are getting ready to sing "Auld Lang Syne" out of tune.
I sit there in my easy chair, looking at the clouds, orange with celebration
And I wonder if you're out there.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Pop open a third bottle of bubbly.
Yeah, and I take that bottle of champagne,
Go into the kitchen, stand in front of the kitchen window
And I take all my clothes off, take that bottle of champagne
And I pour it on my head, feel it cascade through my hair
And across my chest, and the phone rings
And it's my mother.
And she says "Hi honey, how's Boston?"
And I stand there, all alone on New Year's Eve,
Buck naked, drenched in champagne, looking at a bunch of strangers,
Uh, looking at them, looking at me, looking at them, and I say:
"Oh, I'm fine Mom—how's Washington?"
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time, time, time, time, yeah…
So I guess the party line is I followed you up here.
Well, I don't know about that.
Mainly because knowing about that would involve knowing some pathetic, ridiculous, and absolutely true things about myself that I'd rather not admit to right now.
Woke up at 3 a.m. with the radio on, that Gladys Knight and the Pips song on
About how she'd rather live in his world with him
Than live in her own world alone.
And I laid there, head spinning, trying to fall asleep,
And I thought to myself: "Oh, Gladys, girl, I love you but, oh—get a life!"
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

When one thinks of Albuquerque, what comes to mind? Cacti? Desert? The highest drunk driving rate in the country? Sure, all those work. How about 18 inches of snow over the last ten days?

After having six inches fall a few days before Christmas, Albuquerqueans were treated to a foot of snow that dumped on the 505 in a matter of hours. Again, I've loved it. Snowmen, snowball fights, prancing (yes, prancing) in the snow. Sure, the roads have been awful and I've almost gotten in several accidents (all their fault), but it's been great.

It will be nice to see some warm weather and sandy beaches when I go to Ixtapa with my mom and sister starting the sixth of January, but I'll enjoy this wather until then. As for you, enjoy these pictures of a rare, snow-laden Albuquerque.

(Measured after the snow stopped falling on Saturday. That's 13 inches, fooligans!)

(I absolutely LOVE snow-capped trees. So cool.)

Which One's Clint Eastwood?

(Awkward, that's what!)

Been an eventful last few days. Here's a quick update:

The Good - It snowed in Albuquerque today. A lot. We probably had about four inches fall while I was at work. This doesn't translate well into productivity, as I spent time prancing in the snow and getting in a snowball fight with some of the people at The Zone, a neighboring smoke shop. Driving home was interesting, mostly because people freak out at the first sign of snow, and it was particularly bad today. And where the hell were the plows? Oh well, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here, and that's awesome.

The Bad - Mizzou lost tonight to Illinois by three. They had a chance to tie it up last second, but the ball got away from Stefhon Hannah on the last possesion. But I was really impressed with them. I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to watch another game, but I was glad to catch them tonight. Oh, and last week, I got stopped by the police for my fire spinning. Apparently the combination of being in a park after hours and twirling around an open flame equals the police shining their spotlight and yelling at you to leave immediately. Pricks.

The Ugly - Confused by the picture above? It's okay, I was left speechless (and a little frightened) after my first encounter with an Iz. I've actually been putting off this post about the Iz because the right words still escape me, but here goes: I first saw the Iz at my friend's house last weekend. Apparently they had picked up a Happy Meal without any idea of the abomination that lay inside. Not only do these things look horribly weird, but they made the weirdest sounds when you pushed the button in their stomach. Actually, weird doesn't begin to touch it. Freaky, mind-numbing, how-could-a-kid-want-this-and-how-did-it-pass-market-research weird. Yeah, that's more like it. Apparently these Izzes are the big toy this Christmas, as the retail version is some sort of DJ that offers more, longer beats, and the capability to plug your mp3 player into it to modify the songs. I don't know, the video on the website is some animated pap that isn't even synched up right. I had to buy a Happy Meal today just to get one of these so I could further study its habits. My Iz has a "radio tuner" on its ear, and when you turn it on, you hear feedback. Twist his ear, and this two-count funky beat comes on. It's actually a bit danceable. But still, WTF, mates?

It's the Little Things...

I received an awesome email from Austin today, and what can I say, it made me smile. Some of you may know that one Mr. Austin L. Ray writes our monthly music reviews for HQ, one of the three magazines I edit that's sent out to the smoke shop and counter-culture set. Well, the publicist for Barsuk, Menomena's record label, was tickled pink with the nature of our magazine after finding out Menomena was one of our February reviews. Here's the email:

So, Ever Kipp, the Barsuk publicist, was asking me
where my Menomena review was going to run, so I tried
to tell him what Headquest was. His response:

"Headquest eh? I look forward to picking up a copy
soon! That's great news. I'll go execute a reverse 360
stalefish in joy."

Ha!

Then, apparently he did some research on the subject
and got more stoked:

"Totally awesome. 'Headquest magazine is a venue for
companies wishing to reach the expanding smoke shop,
tattoo and body piercing markets.'"

Amazing. Thought you'd enjoy.

-ALR

Azmazing. And yes, I enjoyed.

UPDATE: I just, like, SO totally wrote a post similar to WWAW's recent contribution. Like, ohmigawd!

You Want Reviews? We got reviews.

Whetting the Appetite

Well folks, I'm off for Lubbock to watch my sister, Ali, graduate from Texas Tech. You should all visit her MySpace page here and give her your kudos. Kudo now!

But anywho, I've been enjoying the sabbatical, but I also miss posting. Very much a Catch-22, so I'll start getting back into things once I return from the weekend. Full recap, work update, maybe even some writing samplings. Who knows.

But before I leave you, here's a website for a book that looks very very funny. It's called Look at My Striped Shirt, and it explores the personas of all the people we love to hate and make fun of, such as "America Is for Americans," "High School Football Is All I Have," "Damn, My Pencil-Thin Beard Is Perfect" (an Albuquerque epidemic), and "You Can't Plinko for Shit, You Dumb Bitch!" Good stuff. Thanks Smitty.

Okay, so this is a pretty quick half-ass post, but I'm kinda tired, kinda drunk, and I need my rest before working a half day and leaving around noon. Oh, I still need to wrap my sister's present, burn a CD, and pack (do I sound important yet?). So let's continue this awesome chat Sunday. Or Monday. Or whenever. Dig? Dug.

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

Hey now, everybody, let's turn those frowns upside down. Moods seem a bit low right now, so cheer yourself up with this amazing pardoy of the Mac commercials. Boo and yah.

"PS3 vs. Wii"

I'm Still Here, Dammit!

So at first glance, you may think I'm doing a tribute to Sandra Bernhardt, but that's not the case. I just thought I'd let you know that Greg is in a creative funk right now and has been 1)too drained from deadline week to post, and 2)unsure how he wants Pandering to Savages to continue (Austin, I know how you feel). This is my 75th post, and I need some direction before I begin again. I'm thinking I may use this as a showcase of current writings, maybe more of the same random goings-on and webgems, or maybe a combination of all three. I apologize to the few of you who have enjoyed my site so far. Rest assured I will return in time, and in full force. Vaya con dios, fooligans.