Monday, August 06, 2007

Get to Know Your Drunkard

(makes a great wallpaper, too!)
With the relatively small readership P2S enjoys, it means I know my readers. I've talked with them, partied with them, and yes, even drank copious amounts of teh booze with them. And it's this last point which today's post relates to.

The other week, my mom emailed me about a great publication: Modern Drunkard Magazine. I thought it was some sort of joke, but when I visited the site, I found a wealth of amusement and know-how for today's lush. Highlights include articles like "FDR: A Drinking President," "How to Survive an After-Hours Party," and a column called Wino Wisdom, which consists of user-submitted quotes said in the midst of a drunken haze, such as gems like "You better stop drinking, you're getting blurry," and "A hangover is just beer's way of reminding you you shouldn't have stopped."

Of the many writing/editing jobs I've applied to thus far (fingers still crossed about the Frederick's of Hollywood job), this is definitely a publication I feel qualified for (10 years of experience and counting). But my job searching difficulties isn't what this post is about (lucky you), so let's keep with the alcohol-related tomfoolery. First is a skit from a local radio morning show. It's called "Jimmy Stewart's Five Stages of Drinking." Take a listen, and if you like, check out some more of these, including several bits with Joe Camel (my favorite side character they do). Great stuff.

And finally, I'll leave you with this great quote by Cy Crumley, a conductor for the ET & WNC Railroad during the first half of the 20th Century. Cheers, fooligans.

"Son, never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."


comrade said...

Not only should you become an editor at Modern Drunkard, you should also try to conduct as much in-field research as possible. Y'know, for future issues and stuff.

als said...

That quote at the end is actually kind of beautiful. Or is that the alcohol still seeping from my pores? :)

Greg "Danger" Klein said...

I'd like to think it's a bit of both, with hopefully a little current happy hour drunk mixed in.

And Pat, I'd love to work for them, but they're in Denver, and I don't really see myself in the Mile High City (although I'm already a member of the club, and that's good enough for me).