This Peanut Butter Will Kill You!

Oh sure, it may look innocent and unassuming, but lying within its plastic container lies an extra-large serving of salmonella, rat poison, arsenic, and I think even a trace of Hitler's blood. Bad stuff.

Don't believe me? Well just ask Con Agra Foods:

Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Great Value Peanut Butter Products Beginning with Product Code 2111 Recalled for Possible Salmonella Contamination.

And here, as further proof of my proximity to this potentially fatal concoction of buttered peanut, is the lid of the above jar of peanut butter. You should be happy I lived to tell the tale.

(spooky, huh?)