Obligatory Mike Patton Post

It's been about two months since last we talked about a certain Michael Allan Patton (far, far too long), so why don't we drop some more musical goodness, hmm? First, we have a performance by Tomahawk, a more recent collaboration that brought forth two albums of solid rock (and a soon-to-come third album in 07...yay!). The song is "God Hates a Coward," and yes, he's singing into a gas mask.

Second is "Golem II: The Bionic Vapour Boy" by Mr. Bungle. I thought you should see the fun, charismatic interaction between Mike and his audience. That, and I've always really liked this song. I wanted to show off "Retrovertigo," but couldn't find a version of it. Oh well. Anywho, do yourself a huge musical favor and buy California today. It's one of my favorite albums, if that carries any weight with you fooligans. Alright, enough talk. Rock out!

Me Encanta Pocoyo!

Buenos dias, amigos. I apologize for not giving my post-Mexico report yet, but I'm waiting for my sister to email me pictures of the perfection that was Ixtapa, seeing as the memory stick I bought at the airport didn't work in my camera. Oh well. Until then, however, I'd like to fill you in on something I discovered there.

It's called Pocoyo, an animated preschool program. I happened upon it flipping channels while sick in bed (bad meat), and I've fallen in love with it. Apparently it's all over Europe, along with Mexico (and I think even Japan), and both english and spanish versions are very well-made (although the voice of the spanish Pocoyo is unbearably cute). The show is about Pocoyo and his friends and the fun little adventures they get in. The other characters are Pato, a duck; Eli, a pink elephant; Lula, a dog; and various other friends who sometimes show up, like an manic octopus that talks in jibberish.

The premise of the show is really simple, and there isn't much beyond whatever props they're using (the background is a limitless white abyss like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber from DBZ). But the animation is really well done - I love their faces and the whole playful look it has - and the sounds and music work really complete the show.

Yes, I know I'm getting worked up over a show for four-year-olds, but watch and you'll agree; it's just an incredibly fun, innocent, enjoyable show. I'll start with "El Gran Estornudo" (The Big Sneeze), the first episode I saw. Following it is "Don't Touch," for those who'd like to see and hear an episode in english. After viewing these, you can visit YouTube for more. And more. Enjoy!

"You'll Go Over Like a Led Zeppelin."

Led Zeppelin? Hey, that's catchy. Thanks, Keith!

Yesterday marked a very important date in rock history, when on January 15, 1969, Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and John Bonham released Led Zeppelin I and changed rock 'n' roll forever.

Few bands have had the effect on music like Led Zeppelin. You know this. I know this. Everyone else knows this. So instead of more of my endless praise for the greatest band ever, enjoy a live version of the closing track from I, "How Many More Times," and rock the eff out!

When the Bread Drinks Milk, It Seems to Get Drunk

I don't...I don't know. Just watch.



And finally, I read this story earlier today about an FDA-approved diet pill...FOR YOUR DOG!! I wish I was kidding. Only in America would we make a pill that helps your dog lose weight. These people have to be the worst owners in the world if you have to feed your dog a pill because you've been too lazy to walk him. See, I just watched "Super Size Me" last night for the first time and I was sickened. SICKENED! And now I read this story about the most obese nation in the world letting their pets get fat, too. Sad, just sad. I have to pack, so I'm cutting this short. Plus, I'm too mad to think of more wit to write. So goodnight again, everyone.

Right Near the Beach...Boy-ee!

That's right folks, Pandering to Savages will be on hiatus for the next week. But this isn't one of those self-depricating, "Oh no, what do I write about," pouty hiati (hiatuses? is that the right plural?). No, I'm actually going to be in Ixtapa with my mom and sister through the 14th. Should be a nice change of pace from the unseasonably cold, snowy, and icy Albuquerque weather. The one downfall: I get in late Sunday night, so I'm going to miss the 24 premiere. Luckily, I have a friend taping it, so crisis averted.

So if I wasn't already bad enough not checking in on everyone, now you'll know why I haven't all this next week. But I'll be thinking of all of you as I'm poolside while my cabana boy rubs coconut oil on my back, or as I take my short to medium walks on the beach. Talk to you all when I get back, !vaya con dios!

(Can you find Greg?)

To the Old, Long Life and Treasure; To the Young, All Health and Pleasure.

From everyone here at Pandering to Savages, we'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year. May 2007 bring you health, joy, prosperity, and another Cardinal World Series victory.

Pop Open a Bottle of Bubbly...Here's to Another Goddamn New Year

Any excuse to mention Dismemberment Plan (may you rest in peace) is alright with the folks here at P2S. But today is extra special, because I'll be blasting "Ice of Boston" throughout the day. Sing along with the lyrics below. Rock Lang Syne!

Pop open a bottle of bubbly…yeah
Here's to another goddamn new year.
And outside, 2 million drunk Bostonians
Are getting ready to sing "Auld Lang Syne" out of tune.
I sit there in my easy chair, looking at the clouds, orange with celebration
And I wonder if you're out there.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Pop open a third bottle of bubbly.
Yeah, and I take that bottle of champagne,
Go into the kitchen, stand in front of the kitchen window
And I take all my clothes off, take that bottle of champagne
And I pour it on my head, feel it cascade through my hair
And across my chest, and the phone rings
And it's my mother.
And she says "Hi honey, how's Boston?"
And I stand there, all alone on New Year's Eve,
Buck naked, drenched in champagne, looking at a bunch of strangers,
Uh, looking at them, looking at me, looking at them, and I say:
"Oh, I'm fine Mom—how's Washington?"
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time, time, time, time, yeah…
So I guess the party line is I followed you up here.
Well, I don't know about that.
Mainly because knowing about that would involve knowing some pathetic, ridiculous, and absolutely true things about myself that I'd rather not admit to right now.
Woke up at 3 a.m. with the radio on, that Gladys Knight and the Pips song on
About how she'd rather live in his world with him
Than live in her own world alone.
And I laid there, head spinning, trying to fall asleep,
And I thought to myself: "Oh, Gladys, girl, I love you but, oh—get a life!"
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.
Hey! the ice of Boston is muddy
And reflects no light, in day or night
And I slip on it every time.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

When one thinks of Albuquerque, what comes to mind? Cacti? Desert? The highest drunk driving rate in the country? Sure, all those work. How about 18 inches of snow over the last ten days?

After having six inches fall a few days before Christmas, Albuquerqueans were treated to a foot of snow that dumped on the 505 in a matter of hours. Again, I've loved it. Snowmen, snowball fights, prancing (yes, prancing) in the snow. Sure, the roads have been awful and I've almost gotten in several accidents (all their fault), but it's been great.

It will be nice to see some warm weather and sandy beaches when I go to Ixtapa with my mom and sister starting the sixth of January, but I'll enjoy this wather until then. As for you, enjoy these pictures of a rare, snow-laden Albuquerque.

(Measured after the snow stopped falling on Saturday. That's 13 inches, fooligans!)

(I absolutely LOVE snow-capped trees. So cool.)

Which One's Clint Eastwood?

(Awkward, that's what!)

Been an eventful last few days. Here's a quick update:

The Good - It snowed in Albuquerque today. A lot. We probably had about four inches fall while I was at work. This doesn't translate well into productivity, as I spent time prancing in the snow and getting in a snowball fight with some of the people at The Zone, a neighboring smoke shop. Driving home was interesting, mostly because people freak out at the first sign of snow, and it was particularly bad today. And where the hell were the plows? Oh well, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around here, and that's awesome.

The Bad - Mizzou lost tonight to Illinois by three. They had a chance to tie it up last second, but the ball got away from Stefhon Hannah on the last possesion. But I was really impressed with them. I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to watch another game, but I was glad to catch them tonight. Oh, and last week, I got stopped by the police for my fire spinning. Apparently the combination of being in a park after hours and twirling around an open flame equals the police shining their spotlight and yelling at you to leave immediately. Pricks.

The Ugly - Confused by the picture above? It's okay, I was left speechless (and a little frightened) after my first encounter with an Iz. I've actually been putting off this post about the Iz because the right words still escape me, but here goes: I first saw the Iz at my friend's house last weekend. Apparently they had picked up a Happy Meal without any idea of the abomination that lay inside. Not only do these things look horribly weird, but they made the weirdest sounds when you pushed the button in their stomach. Actually, weird doesn't begin to touch it. Freaky, mind-numbing, how-could-a-kid-want-this-and-how-did-it-pass-market-research weird. Yeah, that's more like it. Apparently these Izzes are the big toy this Christmas, as the retail version is some sort of DJ that offers more, longer beats, and the capability to plug your mp3 player into it to modify the songs. I don't know, the video on the website is some animated pap that isn't even synched up right. I had to buy a Happy Meal today just to get one of these so I could further study its habits. My Iz has a "radio tuner" on its ear, and when you turn it on, you hear feedback. Twist his ear, and this two-count funky beat comes on. It's actually a bit danceable. But still, WTF, mates?

It's the Little Things...

I received an awesome email from Austin today, and what can I say, it made me smile. Some of you may know that one Mr. Austin L. Ray writes our monthly music reviews for HQ, one of the three magazines I edit that's sent out to the smoke shop and counter-culture set. Well, the publicist for Barsuk, Menomena's record label, was tickled pink with the nature of our magazine after finding out Menomena was one of our February reviews. Here's the email:

So, Ever Kipp, the Barsuk publicist, was asking me
where my Menomena review was going to run, so I tried
to tell him what Headquest was. His response:

"Headquest eh? I look forward to picking up a copy
soon! That's great news. I'll go execute a reverse 360
stalefish in joy."

Ha!

Then, apparently he did some research on the subject
and got more stoked:

"Totally awesome. 'Headquest magazine is a venue for
companies wishing to reach the expanding smoke shop,
tattoo and body piercing markets.'"

Amazing. Thought you'd enjoy.

-ALR

Azmazing. And yes, I enjoyed.

UPDATE: I just, like, SO totally wrote a post similar to WWAW's recent contribution. Like, ohmigawd!

You Want Reviews? We got reviews.

Whetting the Appetite

Well folks, I'm off for Lubbock to watch my sister, Ali, graduate from Texas Tech. You should all visit her MySpace page here and give her your kudos. Kudo now!

But anywho, I've been enjoying the sabbatical, but I also miss posting. Very much a Catch-22, so I'll start getting back into things once I return from the weekend. Full recap, work update, maybe even some writing samplings. Who knows.

But before I leave you, here's a website for a book that looks very very funny. It's called Look at My Striped Shirt, and it explores the personas of all the people we love to hate and make fun of, such as "America Is for Americans," "High School Football Is All I Have," "Damn, My Pencil-Thin Beard Is Perfect" (an Albuquerque epidemic), and "You Can't Plinko for Shit, You Dumb Bitch!" Good stuff. Thanks Smitty.

Okay, so this is a pretty quick half-ass post, but I'm kinda tired, kinda drunk, and I need my rest before working a half day and leaving around noon. Oh, I still need to wrap my sister's present, burn a CD, and pack (do I sound important yet?). So let's continue this awesome chat Sunday. Or Monday. Or whenever. Dig? Dug.

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!

Hey now, everybody, let's turn those frowns upside down. Moods seem a bit low right now, so cheer yourself up with this amazing pardoy of the Mac commercials. Boo and yah.

"PS3 vs. Wii"

I'm Still Here, Dammit!

So at first glance, you may think I'm doing a tribute to Sandra Bernhardt, but that's not the case. I just thought I'd let you know that Greg is in a creative funk right now and has been 1)too drained from deadline week to post, and 2)unsure how he wants Pandering to Savages to continue (Austin, I know how you feel). This is my 75th post, and I need some direction before I begin again. I'm thinking I may use this as a showcase of current writings, maybe more of the same random goings-on and webgems, or maybe a combination of all three. I apologize to the few of you who have enjoyed my site so far. Rest assured I will return in time, and in full force. Vaya con dios, fooligans.

Pueblo or Bust

Man I love that picture. God bless Trigger Happy TV. But anywho, I'm off to sunny Pueblo, CO, for the weekend, so I'm just killing some time here at work before I go. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone. In a world where people die of starvation everyday, there's nothing like a holiday that celebrates eating more than your stomach can possibly hold. So be gluttonous, for next month we celebrate avarice. Hey, that's two of the seven deadly sins! God bless America.

A quick aside: if you haven't visited ifilm.com lately, check it out. Looks like someone's jealous of YouTube getting bought for $1.65 billion, so they dressed up like them to see if lightning strikes twice. Too bad their new format suck-diddly-ucks. Oh well; godspeed, ifilm.

Hey Kids, It's Mike Patton!

Good morning all. I'm about to head out and help my uncle out around his shop, but before I go, I thought I'd share with you a video of Faith No More's "I Started a Joke." This is a cover of a Bee Gees song, and also further evidence of Mike Patton's eccentric creativity. You'll recognize Tim from The Office, but the real treat is watching the guy sing, especially when he hits the chorus. There is a longer version with heckling and more dialogue, but I couldn't find it. I guess this will have to do.

Other notable FNM covers: "Easy" by Lionel Ritchie, "This Guy's in Love with You" by Burt Bacharach (a recent karaoke favorite around here and a last-minute add below), "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath, and this doesn't even begin to touch upon his other groups' covers, including video game and movie themes. So enjoy, fooligans, I'm off.

"I Started a Joke"

"This Guy's in Love with You"

They Can't All Be www.yourethemannowdog.com

Never mind that last post. Turns out I'm a sucker for high speed internet, and I decided to keep it, along with the digital cable, at the new apartment. So in celebration, I thought I'd share with you the worst the web has to offer (What can I say, I travel in good company).

I came across this article from PC World about the 25 Worst Web Sites (feeling nervous, chicagocubs.com?). I have to agree with some of these, like inmatesforyou.com, which is like eHarmony with felons (I wish I was kidding), and a CDC page for kids about rabies awareness.

What's number one, you ask? I guess you'll just have to find out, hmmmmm? Don't worry, it's well deserved. But that's all I got for now; expect fun and frivolity this weekend, and maybe even some Bernie Dexter love.

Maybe.

If you're good.

Good Night, and Good Luck

Well, this may be the last post in a while, as I'm moving out of my house tomorrow. I'm still debating over getting the interweb, wondering if I can find a six-month contract for high-speed. I haven't done any searching, but I generally thought they only do year contracts. Rest assured I'll still be leaving my mark on everyone's post, what else is work for? Looks like I'll be visiting the library more, too, which I guess is probably a good thing; I'd like another book to read. I just finished World War Z, and it was awesome. Thanks to the good folks at Crowdpleaser for that one. Oh, and I saw Borat last night. Wow. I was shocked and awed, to say the least. There's too much I could write about ("She's laid a Jew egg!") and I still have packing to do, so it will have to wait for another day. Have a good night, fooligans.

Oh Shit, The People Actually Bought It. Now What?

Okay Democrats, you finally won control of both the House and (possibly) the Senate, what happens now?

This is about what I was thinking as I went to bed last night. But before I go all Debbie Downer on you, the Deomcarats won! Finally! It only took six years of ineptitude for the American public to wise up. Frankly, I couldn't be happier right now, especially with Rumsfeld on the street. I hope this is the beginning of something good for our country.

Probably the person I'm happiest to see gone is Rick Gayanaldischarge (R-PA), who was voted out with authority. But really, this is just one of many that I could bring up. With Nancy Pelosi coming in as Speaker of the House, it will be very interesting to see how the Democrats handle the first few months: what they introduce, how fast they jump into things, what kind of plan(s) do they really have? They've spent all this time decrying the Republicans and their agenda, now it's time to see if they were just all talk.

And of course, Donny Rumsfeld will soon be no more, which isn't very surprising. With all the people calling for Rumsfeld to step down and the quagmire in Iraq, I don't think Bush has a choice right now. The American people have clearly spoken, they want a new direction within our borders and in Iraq. That wouldn't happen with Rummy still Defense Secretary. But I will miss his circular logic.

Finally, some quick asides.
-My friend Harold Davis didn't get elected Bernalillo County Commissioner, which is too bad because I was looking forward to getting some croneistic kickbacks. I'll be going out ot lunch with him tomorow.
-Also, to the state of Missouri: Congratulations, you guys were awesome yesterday. Yes, Claire McCaskill beat out Jim Talent, but I was also paying close attention to the state amendments. First, Amendment 2, which protects any federally allowed stem cell research in the state, passed. Sure, it was by the slimmest of margins, but for a state nestled comfortably in the Bible Belt, this is a big achievment, both on a scientific and symbolic level. Second, you voted to raise the minimum wage to $6.50, and will be adjusted every year for inflation and buying power. Yes, the federal minimum wage may shortly go up, but you beat them to the punch. Kudos. Third, you voted down an 80 cent hike on cigarette prices. Personally, I would have voted for it and I'm a smoker. Missouri has the lowest cigarette prices in the nation, an extra 80 cents can do a lot of good in a lot of places. If we're going to tax anything, tax our vices. Weed. Prostitution. Those should be legalized and taxed out the ass, too (although the former was voted down for legalization in Vegas. In time, dear weed...in time).

That's all I got for now. Time to pack and play some Marvel Ultimate Alliance. Oh hell yeah. God Bless America!

I Am No Good at Weddings

Greetings everyone, I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I had meant to update everyone yesterday with last weekend's goings-on, but around 4pm that day, I got a call from the apartments I was moving into on Friday, and they told me I had been rejected. Apparently I make too much money to fit their Affordable Housing requirements. Huh? Two things: 1) You could have let me know more than 72 hours before I have to be out of my house, and 2) you don't drop your rent to pander to the lower-income families, so I guess you're just scamming the system to get whatever government handouts you receive for being under Affordable Housing. Dicks. Well, Tuesday was very hectic with me running all over town, and when I got home, I proceeded to get drunk and watch election coverage (more on that later). But today I found a place to move into, and I'll be Dolly Madison for the move on Friday, so that's a relief. Aaaaaaaaannnyway, onto last weekend in St. Louis.

This was one of the best weddings I ever remember attending. From the ceremony, to the reception, the friends I hadn't seen for far too long (about 3 or 4 years for one), and the shenanigans after the reception, this was mucho divertido. I wish I had pictures, but they won't be ready until Friday. Stupid Wal-Mart.

At the ceremony, I actually found myself quelling a tear or two as Phil and Jessica were exchanging vows. You probably would have done the same, listening to the love in their voices as they tried not to cry with these huge smiles on their faces. Aww, listen to me, I'm sounding so horribly Hallmark.

Then the reception, held at some Anheuser-Busch conference center. Beer flowed like wine, the arrangements were very well done, the food was awesome(prime rib AND chicken...la di da), and it was a pretty decent turnout. Sorry, I could go into more detail, but I still have another post after this and I could really let this get away from me. You'll thank me later, if you aren't thanking me now. But we danced and drank well into the night. When they finally shut the place down around 11:30 or so (I think), we headed back to the hotel. This is where Jeff Wussler had a stroke of genius.

Jeff was a groomsman, so he had a tux on. While we were drinking in our room, he tells me he wants to go out and show off the tux, because how often can you go to a bar looking that snazzy? I wasn't looking too shabby myself, so I decided to join him. On the way, he tells we should act like he just got left at the altar today and see what happens. So we get to That One Place and sit at the bar. Jeff plays it off perfectly. He looks like he's fighting between rage and tears, and I'm trying to solace him. I also take his phone when he acts like he's calling her. I tell the bartender what heppened and that he needs something strong to pick him up. We each get a Jaeger bomb, and they tell us they're on the house. Jeff supresses a smile and we take our drinks. He starts talking to the bartender and other patrons and I get us two beers (again, on the house). God bless that kid. Everyone felt really bad for him...I guess no one would even to think to question a story like that, who would make something like that up anyway? Jeff Wussler, that's who, and that's why I love the guy. POST OVER!!

Smell Ya Later

About off to St. Louis this weekend for le wedding. I wish I could have been in town last week for Game 5, but I'm sure the town is still in good spirits over their World Champions.

In other baseball-related news, we won our first softball game last night, finishing 1-9 for the fall league. Combine the eight games I played with the 15 from summer league, and that makes my softball total for 2006 a whopping 1-22. Whoo. And yet, I'll miss it. What can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment.

We'll talk when we get back, yes? I promise no prescription drug abuse this weekend, but still lots of fun, drunken tomfoolery. Oh yes. While you wait impatiently for my return this weekend, here's a song that's been in my head for the last few days. "She's a Woman" by The Beatles. I heard it on the radio on the way to work Wednesday, and I can't stop singing it. In fact, I just watched it after posting it here. ENJOY IT!



Boo and yah, fooligans. Have a great weekend.