Ain't It the Truth

irony: P2S Word of the Day

i - ro - ny (ahy-ruh-nee)
-noun, plural -nies
1. the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning: the irony of her reply, “How nice!” when I said I had to work all weekend.
2. an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.
3. Sports (see below):

Tri-Post Day: #1 - The Pitter Patter of Little Feet

I've got a few things I'd like to share with everyone today, the first being some great news I received from Jessica and Phil Palacios on Tuesday. They will be expecting a new addition to their family this coming March.

Their wedding last November was one of the most memorable I attended in recent memory, and we here at P2S couldn't be happier to hear about Jessica's pregnancy. So to Phil and Date, we wish you all the best; you're both going to make terrific parents.

#2 - Call It a Comeback

In keeping with the positive vibes of the above post, we here at P2S would also like to congratulate Rick Ankiel for his return to the Cardinals as an outfielder last night against the Padres.

A St. Louis favorite, Ankiel was a very promising pitcher for the Cardinals before his historic meltdown against the Braves and Mets in the 2000 postseason. Recently, Rick has been lighting up scoreboards as an outfielder in the Minors for the last several years and has always been on the breath of Cardinals fans wanting to see him come back.

Last night, Ankiel got that chance. Called up for Thursday's game, Ankiel went 0-2 before hitting a 3-run blast that put the Cardinals up 5-0, earning him a curtain call from the crowd and making that moment one of the best so far this season. Best of luck to Ankiel and the rest of the Cardinals as they continue down the stretch only 5.5 games out.

#3 - That's Mr. Barry to You

And finally, I saw a video of highlights by Barry Sanders Wednesday and was absolutely buh-lown away. From his five-TD game at OSU against Wyoming in the Holiday Bowl to a whole career of NFL goodies, Barry Sanders came with a built-in spin and juke button. It's just too bad he had to play for the Lions. Oh well, at least we still have this. Try not to freak out too much. Just try.

Have a great weekend, everyone, I'll be with the fire spinners most of the time at a rave outside town called Three-Sided Hole. Should be a fun time. Talk with you all soon.

Keep Looking Up

The most important image ever taken? You be the judge after watching this. But however you feel, this video really puts things in perspective about how small we really are in this universe. Actually, can you really put 78 billion light years into perspective? A distance like that is almost too much to fathom. How can someone see something like that and NOT think we're the only ones in the universe? There's so much out there we don't know, it's not really a question of if there's life, but where they are and what they might look like.

Stars and planets are made of the same matter we are, but in different percentages and compositions. Sure, our carbon-based model has served as an efficient model for the building blocks of life, but could there be silicon-based life out there? Nitrogen-based? Could there be organisms who use ammonia in place of water? I'm throwing things out there, the possibilities are endless. For now, enjoy this video, and if you'd like to elaborate on this or talk some alien shop about our preconceived notions of how aliens should look, hit me up.

The Truth Is Out There

Get to Know Your Drunkard

(makes a great wallpaper, too!)

With the relatively small readership P2S enjoys, it means I know my readers. I've talked with them, partied with them, and yes, even drank copious amounts of teh booze with them. And it's this last point which today's post relates to.

The other week, my mom emailed me about a great publication: Modern Drunkard Magazine. I thought it was some sort of joke, but when I visited the site, I found a wealth of amusement and know-how for today's lush. Highlights include articles like "FDR: A Drinking President," "How to Survive an After-Hours Party," and a column called Wino Wisdom, which consists of user-submitted quotes said in the midst of a drunken haze, such as gems like "You better stop drinking, you're getting blurry," and "A hangover is just beer's way of reminding you you shouldn't have stopped."

Of the many writing/editing jobs I've applied to thus far (fingers still crossed about the Frederick's of Hollywood job), this is definitely a publication I feel qualified for (10 years of experience and counting). But my job searching difficulties isn't what this post is about (lucky you), so let's keep with the alcohol-related tomfoolery. First is a skit from a local radio morning show. It's called "Jimmy Stewart's Five Stages of Drinking." Take a listen, and if you like, check out some more of these, including several bits with Joe Camel (my favorite side character they do). Great stuff.

And finally, I'll leave you with this great quote by Cy Crumley, a conductor for the ET & WNC Railroad during the first half of the 20th Century. Cheers, fooligans.

"Son, never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl."

Tuesdays with Augie

Well, for those of you who watched Sunday's game against the Brewers, you saw a great comeback by the Cardinals, rallying from being down 5-0 to win 9-5 after a four-run fifth and five-run eighth. The Cards took three of four from the Brewers, now stand only six back, and ended the series on one of the highest points all season, hopefully providing that spark I spoke of on Sunday. But what now? Where do we go from here?

Good question. With two months left to play, including six against Milwaukee and seven against Chicago, the Cardinals need to get hot. Now. Luckily, the Cardinals start a three-game stint against the last team they swept, the Pirates, then head to Washington to play the not-so-good Nationals. But Milwaukee, and especially Chicago, are playing good baseball right now. The Brewers and Cubs will both be playing the Mets and Phils this week, so the Cards could get right back in the mix with a good week and a potentially bad one for the Milwaukee and Chicago. But as we've seen many times, the Cardinals can very easily turn out a bad week against mediocre teams. Let's take a look at the team and figure this out.

The bats came alive for the Cardinals this weekend at the right time. They showed a lot of heart and determination fighting back from the early deficits the Brewers put them in, so it's reassuring to see the offense work for St. Louis, as younger players like Ryan Ludwick and Chris Duncan are contributing huge and timely hits, and people like Albert Pujols and Scott Rolen are playing like they should. Juan Encarnacion has been hot, and you never know when Eckstein will throw down a three- or four-hit night. So the Cards can put up runs when they want to.

As for pitching, the bullpen has been holding it down so far this year. Relievers like Russ Springer and Ryan Franklin have come in and provided long-inning support when starters have given up big runs early. Which has happened far too many times. Troy Percival has pitched well one inning at a time, and Jason Isringhausen is having a decent year, even though he hasn't had many chances to make saves.

The main problem for the Cardinals, right now, is their starting pitching. Kip Wells and Anthony Reyes (who saved his job after Saturday's win) both have double-digit losses, Braden Looper has cooled off (and how) after a great start to the year, but pitchers like Adam Wainwright (who seems to get more comfortable with each start) and Brad Thompson has been throwing some great stuff. Mike Maroth has been iffy, and recently acquired Juan Pineiro from Boston could be a positive addition for a hurt rotation (you never know what kind of magic Dave Duncan will work on him).

Without Chris Carpenter and Mark Mulder due to injuries (the former out until some time in '08, the latter possibly returning this year), and with the loss of Jeff Suppan and Jason Marquis during the off-season, the Cardinals featured a starting rotation full of relievers who may not have been ready for the move. The biggest thing the Cardinals need to do to be a contender in the Central NOW (cuz let's face it, the Wild Card is waaaay out the window) is to keep those one- and two-run innings from turning into five-run innings. Getting that third out has been a challenge, and is the most glaring error for the Cards.

Personally, I'd just like to see them get above .500, and with a sweep of Pittsburgh, that's possible. We shall see. This season still isn't lost. For now.

Wow, are you still reading this? You either love the Cardinals like me, or you don't have anything better to do. Of course, if you've also read "The Mad Shatter" below, it's probably the latter. Thanks for reading, though. Chat soon we shall.

Outrageous Claim of the Day

If the Cardinals win today and put themselves only six games behind the Brewers, expect good things to happen. You may even see them make some moves before Tuesday's trade deadline to give them an extra push down the stretch (I won't say who, but depending on said moves, you could see Rick Ankiel in the outfield this year. Whoa). That's if they win, though.

For those who saw any of the doubleheader yesterday, the Cards won both against the Brew Crew, the first game won in the bottom of the ninth after scoring three runs down 6-4. This could be a spark for the Cardinals, who are still without their No. 1 & 2 pitchers, have been hit by injuries around the field, are sporting a starting rotation of relievers, and who have struggled with run support. Hey, any spark right now is needed, and winning three of four against your division leader would be a great momentum boost. Let's take a closer look at the Cards and their season after this game and go from there.

Fingers crossed, this fan still hasn't given up.

You Gotta Fight the Powers that Be!

Okay, so Elvis Costello doesn't have quite the stone cold gangsta appeal of a Chuck D, but you gotta love the huevos of him changing songs while live on SNL, which caused him to be banned from NBC for 12 years or so. They had wanted him to play "Less than Zero," but to their surprise, Elvis wanted to play "Radio Radio," as you see below. Enjoy a great TV moment. Heart you, Elvis!

You Want to Sleep With Common Shatners Like Him

Although I can't say I blame you. Seriously, how great is this cover of an already great song? Great squared? Great squared squared? You're getting warmer...

This is hardcore.

Harry Potter and the Wyld Stallyns

Or something like that. Surprise ending: Harry and Ron form the greatest rock band ever and bring peace to the wizarding world after a climactic duel against Voldemort a la "Six String Samurai." Lots of blood, gore, and blaring guitars.

At least, that's where I see it going after 400 pages. I picked up the final installment of the Harry Potter series at 3am on Saturday. So far, it's been good, although I have no idea where this is going or leading up to. There have been some very well-written action sequences, but I'm wondering if this can really end in the next 300 or so pages. We shall soon find out, and judging from my pace, it won't be long. Regardless of how it ends, I have absolutely loved the Harry Potter series. J.K. Rowling has a very rich style of storytelling, and really paints a picture of her characters and the world in which they live, but there are also these great archetypal themes and characters. It's easy to see why they're so popular and will continue to be for years to come.

In other Potter news, I saw "Order of the Phoenix" Saturday, and while I liked it, I thought it felt rushed. Order of the Phoenix was a long book with a lot of subplots, and the movie tried to montage a lot of it together, with not a lot of development time in between. Granted, it looked really cool, from the training of Dumbledore's Army to the final scene in the Ministry, and I love the darker progression of the movies, as with the books, but it sacrifices narrative for action (like the lack of talk about the prophecy at the end). In other words, they made it a movie. Still very enjoyable, though.

Your thoughts? What's your surprise ending for Harry Potter? Don't be shy, I know you have one.

The Mad Shatter

*Sorry for the length, I had been writing the following as a short story to describe the worst travel experience I've ever been through after Crowdpleaser told us of his JFK fiasco. Enjoy*

Never take a bus out of Vegas. I made this mistake back in 2004 and it forever scarred me on the whole concept of public transportation. Some things aren't worth the greater good, like non-alcoholic beer, but that's another story for another time.

I learned this lesson the hard way on my way to Los Angeles. I was beginning the start of my two-month excursion through Fiji, New Zealand, and Australia with two friends, and we decided to kick things off with a stop in Vegas for a bachelor party of a friend of Michael's, one of my co-travelers.

To save money for the trip (I'm told), we were to take a bus from Albuquerque to Las Vegas, then on to Los Angeles before our flight to Nadi, in Fiji. While it was a convincing argument to take the bus, had we have spent the extra 50 each for cheap airfare, this whole crisis could have been averted. Let it be told I was never for the Greyhound Express, but I digress.

Our bus was to leave at 6 in the morning on Sunday, which meant we needed to meet at the hotel at 4:30 for plenty of time to get to the station and check in.

Eric – my other co-traveler – and I separated from Michael when he wanted to pay 50 bucks to get into a VIP room with his friends. We felt we could drink and gamble that money away much more effectively, so we passed on the high roller club and went out among the masses.

Lady Luck was in my corner that night as I ended up ahead after playing blackjack and the slots. I even won 30 bucks when I hit a full house on a video poker machine while ordering a drink at the bar. Needless to say, drinks were on me.

The two of us were even lucky enough to find ourselves walking behind a herd of blondes in black cocktail dresses who loved showing off the color of their underwear to passing strangers. Shortly after, I met a freestyling drug dealer who offered me weed, coke, or meth, or as he told me, “Tree, rock, or ice.” I passed on all three, already maintaining a good buzz after exploiting Vegas' Open Container law.

After eating a tasty Reuben while watching someone turn two shades of ugly with a bouncer after ordering three Wild Turkey shots, we met up with our third member in the lobby of the Monte Carlo. He didn't share our same pleasant evening.

Mike had dropped over a hundred dollars on roulette and smelled like he had taken a bath in Captain Morgan. He was beyond ordinary logic, so we felt it best to be short with him and get to the bus so he could sleep it off.

Skip ahead to our arrival at the bus station. We tipped our cab driver and entered. Inside, we were greeted by a motley crew of ignorance and filth. “But Greg,” you may say, “that's an unfair assumption to make about the people in the station.”

Yes, that's true, but think about it: who leaves Vegas on a bus? Sure, people beginning a trans-Pacific vacation might, but how many of those were in the station? By my count, three. Taking a bus out of Vegas usually connotes already having taken a bus into Vegas. In which case, if you're pinching pennies that much, you probably shouldn't be going to Vegas in the first place; there are other priorities in your life that need addressing more.

Apart from the many people who desperately needed a shower, my attention was caught by a freckled, overweight redhead who appeared to be crying mascara. While I'm in line checking my backpack's inventory, I hear, in a loud bawling voice, “I don't know where he is! He told he he'd be here and he's not...we got married!”

I had to turn around so the poor girl wouldn't see me failing to stifle my laughter. I wonder where the groom is; I'm sure he finds it as funny as I do, probably more. The fact he was able to tell her to meet her at the bus station after they tied the knot…he's still probably asking himself how he got away with it.

After taking in the various smells and futile arguments with the desk clerk from the patrons in front of us, we were finally able to check in and get on the bus. While the arguments were both sad and entertaining to listen to – people crying about how they didn't have enough money for a ticket but wouldn't take “no” for an answer – the real meat of this story happens on the bus.

Eric and I had to take the two seats in the last row, with our backs to the bathroom wall. That meant we couldn't recline our seats, which sucked, but at least I could lean my head against the window. I tried to sleep, but I've found I can't sleep on any form of transportation, be it planes, trains, or automobiles, unless I drink myself into a stupor like we did on the way back from Melbourne to LA off free beer on intercontinental flights. But again, I digress.

We left the station around 6 that morning. For a time, Eric and I kept ourselves busy by playing a movie game where we went back and forth naming every movie a certain actor/actress starred in (He got me on Julia Roberts...goddamn Mystic Pizza!). Time was hard to pass, especially since I had planned to buy batteries in LA for a dead CD player. Bad idea. We also got to smell everyone's shit as they left the bathroom, but in retrospect, I guess it wasn't as bad as what was to come.

It was around 11 and heating up quickly inside the bus when the trip took an irreversible turn for the worst. We were sitting back, watching the day unfold, when we heard some kind of skirmish happen around the middle of the bus. I heard someone start to yell and curse, but I wasn't sure what was going on. All of a sudden, chaos broke out. I wish I could tell what was going on, but I wasn't the only person looking up trying to figure out what happened. All of I sudden, I hear, “He shit his pants,” and more people began to yell and try to talk above each other. I looked to Eric, but he had no more clue than I did. We both hoped we didn't hear what we did. This all happened pretty quickly, mind you.

Voices and tempers continued to rise, and we stopped at the first exit we could. As we were pulling in to the gas station, a stench hit me harder than any kind of cheesy metaphor I can think of: it was the unmistakable scent of human feces. That would explain the commotion; I can't say how I would react if someone shit his pants next to me on a bus, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be good.

The smell was unbearable as we got off the bus. People outside still had no idea what exactly happened. Talking back and forth, we gathered that someone, although no one knew who, had released his bowels in his seat, and the guy across from him got violent because of it, which caused people restraining him, trying to move the shatter around...it was mass hysteria. I looked around, but couldn't figure out who the culprit was.

I walked inside just to get my mind off the whole situation and bought some chips to snack on while we waited. The attendant asked what was going on, I told him I didn't know, but I think someone had shit their pants. He laughed, and who can blame him? It was the kind of situation you love to hear about, but not experience. I was later told that the driver had taken the shatter to a bathroom almost immediately, never to be seen again, and that both people had been ejected from the bus.

I walked back outside and saw through the dark window that the bus driver was spraying down the bus with air freshener. “Great, it'll be potpourri shit,” I'm thinking.

And I would be right. After 30 minutes of waiting, we were allowed back on the bus, but the delay did nothing for the smell. The air freshener and feces smell joined together in some sort of unholy matrimony. I held my breath as best I could as I got to my seat, before burying my face in the pillow.

After I sat, the driver came up to me and told me he needed to open the window earlier for ventilation, and mine was the only one that opened. He was going to leave it open so the bus could air out as we drove. “Fabulous idea,” I told him. Little did I know that the window had no latch on it, so instead of remaining open and providing a healthy flow of air, it slammed open and shut the entire way back. I could hold it open, but I got tired of doing that quickly, so I had to live with this large window flying open and hitting the bus with a loud “CLANG!” when it closed. Over. And over. And over. For the rest of the trip (about four hours). I couldn't sleep because of the noise, I couldn't put my head against the window (refer to above), it was uncomfortable to lean forward and sleep that way, holding it open got old fast, so I was pretty much screwed any way I went. Add that to the fact that the shit smell was still very much present, and you have the most fun four hours I think any human can have.

We finally got into the Los Angeles bus station, and not a moment too soon. We could have been mugged right as we stepped off and I wouldn't have been sad. At least I was off that cursed vehicle...

“…and that’s why I’ve sworn off bus travel,” I finished, taking a long drink of beer. “Which is why we’re flying into Sin City today.”

“Wow, that’s quite the story,” said my friend Josh, “but we still would have flown into Vegas; I never would have let you book two tickets on the Greyhound just on sheer principle.”

“And that’s why you’re a good friend.” I finished my bottle and looked at the clock. “Plus, bus stations don’t offer booze when your bus is delayed.”

“I’ll drink to that,” replied Josh, and we clinked glasses.

We had been stuck in the Albuquerque airport for three hours due to a freak thunderstorm, but had been told we would be boarding in an hour. I wasn’t in any rush; I was pretty sure Vegas would still be awake when we arrived, and if we got there with a slight buzz, all the better. I watched the start of my third replay of Sportscenter and ordered one more round of Bud Lights, happy to be sitting in the climate-controlled airport bar. Around me, people were getting restless due to the mass of delayed flights, but they had no idea how much worse it could get: they’d never dealt with the Mad Shatter.

Kleinifest Destiny

This morning, Greg and his friend Eric head west for a week to visit their future home, Los Angeles, to scope out future jobs, apartments, and maybe, time permitting, a little beach lounging. Just another freak in the freak kingdom. Talk to you all when I get back.

It's a Swan, It's a Parrot, It's a...Noose?

For those who wonder how Greg spends his Friday afternoons, here's your answer: balloon animals. That's right, my friend Eric and I spent some time Friday making giraffes, parrots, and a whole menagerie of colorful latex animals for our upcoming short film, My Life with Funzo. The balloon noose will be made after Funzo has his feelings hurt by the main character...funny stuff.

Also, I met with a group earlier today called Centripetal Fire. They're a bunch of highly talented fire spinners who perform around the city and will be putting on a show tonight at Albuquerque Summerfest. It was awesome playing around with them, and they even asked me to join their troupe, which was way cool. I'll be helping out with the safety end of things tonight, but in time, they may even let me on stage to perform. God help us all.

Top 5 Tuesdays

In an effort to post more, I figured a weekly Top 5 list would be a fun addition to Pandering to Savages. I've been out of the Top 5 business after leaving Mizzou and a great Top 5 partner-in-crime, but this gives me a chance to get back in it, if only once a week. For the inaugural list, I'm tackling concept albums as I readjust my mind back to narrative form after 20 months of copy writing, so here goes:

Top 5 Concept Albums:

1. Queensryche - Operation: Mindcrime - One of my favorite bands, Queensryche released a near-perfect album about a disillusioned man brainwashed to assassinate political leaders. Oh yeah, there's also a tragic love story with the protagonist and a prostitute-turned-nun named Mary. I truly heart this album.

2. The Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - A love story about a young Japanese girl who saves the world against man-eating robots. This stuff writes itself.

3. Pink Floyd - The Wall - Oh, to have seen Pink Floyd live. This album is a testament to the grand vision of a group that made complete albums, not just a collection of songs thrown together. I thought about using Dark Side of the Moon (a better album), but I was looking for a cohesive story. Hence, The Wall.

4. Deltron 3030 - Deltron 3030 - Del and Dan the Automator craft an amazing album about the state of hip hop in the year 3030. From the epic and eerie "3030" to tracks like "Positive Contact," "Virus," and "Memory Loss," Del's vocal talents are in full force on this album.

5. The Who - Tommy - "Listen to Tommy with a candle burning and you will see your entire future."

Alphabet Aerobics

How did Greg spend his first day of unemployment? Look below and find out. Apparently now I know my ABC's, won't you read long with me?

Angry big cats dine entrails from gazelle herds; impalas jump knowing large meat-eaters nibble on peaceful quails, ripping sinew; tries unwavering vigilance with xenophobic yaks, zebras.

Zoologists: “Young xylem within vascular umbrella trees survives releasing quick photosynthetic operations. Nectar makes little kangaroos jump, inviting herbivore gluttony; frequent elevations demand constant botanical aliment."

Talentless Hacks

Or as they're officially called, the judges of the Duke City Shootout (although I think the Pussycat Dolls fit that heading, too).

Today, seven scripts were chosen for a local film contest that brings in competition from all around the country. My friend Eric and I turned in what we believed to be a damn fine story about the Chupabarbara (the Chupacabra's charitable counterpart) in mockumentary style, but they decided to go with projects such as "So Five Minutes Ago" and "The Pitch." Wow, sounds gripping. Douches.

So it appears that my friend and I will now be able to produce this film our own way, rather than making a trimmed and watered down version that we had turned in to make the time limits for the DCS. So I'll keep everyone posted as to the status of that, along with all the other projects we'll be working on.

Oh yeah, and plenty of them (projects, that is: music videos, short films, and general hilarity). I'll be quitting my job starting Friday, and look forward to a summer full of writing, filmmaking, and overall creative goodness. Keep an eye out at P2S for upcoming fun and frivolity.

Lemon Curry?

God bless the silliness of Monty Python. I loved growing up watching reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus, and am now blessed with YouTube and the hundreds upon hundreds on Monty Python skits. Here's a few gems of their wit and amazingly sharp dialogue (the product of Oxford and Cambridge educations. Awesome.). Go on, you know want to watch it.

"Argument Clinic"

"Kilimanjaro Expedition"

"Flying Lesson"

"Batley Townswomen's Guild Reenactment of the Battle of Pearl Harbor"

Post-24 Depression

Sigh. Well, it's mid-May, and Jack Bauer has yet again saved the world, the U.S., California, Los Angeles, a bus full of nuns, a cute kitten that got stuck in a tree, a 3-2 Dodger win over the Giants, and 15% by switching to Geico. Seriously, is there anything you can't do, Jack Bauer?

But now, Grego is left with a hole in his heart as he sees his favorite TV hero...(omitted for spoilers). 24 has long been my must-see TV show, and those who have called me in the past during that time know that nothing disturbs my weekly date with Jack Bauer. But now I must wait until January for the new season of 24 and an as-yet unknown time in 2008 for Battlestar Galactica.

For those who missed Day Six, it revolved around five missing suitcase nukes. The day is prefaced by weeks of violence and suicide bombings in the US at the hand of Muslim extremists. I won't go into too much detail for those who plan on watching it on DVD or MySpace (which I thought was ingenious on FOX's part), but I enjoyed the season for the most part. There were parts of it I thought were unforgivable (Curtis...WTF?), and at times it tried too hard and forsook development for more action (12 hours to see your first explosion in Day One vs. 12 seconds in Day Six), but it definitely got better as the season developed.

It reminded me a lot of Day Three. In it, there was a viral scare and the writers tried far, far, far too many plot twists throughout the day (Jack's heroin habit?). They ended up cleaning house and introducing an almost new cast for Day Four (my favorite), and I can see the same thing happening for Day Seven.

I definitely see a new cast, and possibly a new non-LA location. Hmm? Any takers? Or is LA destined to be the #1 terrorist target for the seventh season in a row? Seriously, how does CTU Los Angeles continue to get funding? Not only do they make their employees work 24-hour shifts (where's the night shift in all this?), but with all the leaks, the attacks, the moles, and infiltrations, shouldn't we be evaluating CTU's effectiveness? And how much has LA's population dropped over the course of these six days (which I would guess is around nine or ten years).

I'm not sure where they'll go with the next season, but I think Jack Bauer killing some terrorists in new scenery would do him well. Those questions will be answered in time. Until we meet again, Jack Bauer, vaya con dios; you will be missed (until I start rewatching Day Four. Heart.).