Makes baby Jesus cry. Heck, it could even make Lucifer's knees buckle.
That's all.
What, you expect Masterpiece Theater or something? I'm sure Alistair Cooke would agree with me on the abomination that is shower flatulence, so there!
Or in this case, cooking with cleavage, but the pun doesn't quite work that way, and it really was too good to pass up. Aaaaannnnnyway....
I don't know how many of you have seen "Everyday Italian" with Giada De Laurentiis. Probably quite a few of you, as almost everyone I know hearts the Food Network. I just became aware of it after visiting with my sister, who is also a Food Network fan, and I have to say, this might be my new favorite show on that channel (which doesn't mean much seeing as I don't have teh cable). Sure, it's easy to call her gorgeous and ogle her all show, but she does make some tasty dishes (like the antipasti above), and I absolutely lub Italian cuisine.
Besides, the fact that said dishes are always made while wearing some low-cut, cleavage-enhancing blouse...well, that's just good television, right Food Network? Yeah, you answered that question by giving her a second show and a two-hour special, parts of which have her bikini-clad. Can't say I blame you. Buongiorno!
Mystery Science Theater 3000. Need I say any more?
I remember growing up and watching this show every week on Comedy Central. Along with Looney Tunes, MST3K was my favorite and probably most influential source of comedy. Sure, in sixth grade I didn't get all of the jokes, but I got enough of them to absolutely heart the show. And luckily, my parents did get those jokes and also really liked the show. Otherwise, this post may not be happening right now. Rather, I'd be venting about how my mom and dad sheltered me during my upbringing and how they'd pay. EVERYONE would soon pay.
But no, no going postal for yours truly tonight. Instead, let's sit back and enjoy a classic short, "Keeping Clean and Neat," since it's the 14th anniversary of its MST premiere. And for those wanting to revel in some more silliness, YouTube has quite the stack of videos for your perusal. Of course, I'd recommend buying/"legally" downloading as many episodes as you can, but that's just me.
And yes, apparently I did need to say more. Nyah!
Update: This video just left me in tears. It's the many names they give the main character from "Space Mutiny" throughout the episode. Wow. Just wow.
Wow. You know, it seems like only 17 months ago that I started this humble blog. In that time, I've come no closer to finding a common theme or direction, but rather, filled P2S with mindless stupidity, random video clips, and streams upon streams of consciousness. And after looking back on what I've done, I must say...blog well spent!!
Sure, Pandering to Savages has enjoyed a rather small readership, but I'd like to thank those of you who have frequented my ramblings during the last year and a half...you've kept me going, for better or worse, and I really appreciate it.
Seeing as I'm making this some kind of milestone, I took a sample of my favorite entries and would like to share them with you. I may have went a little overboard, so feel free to view as many or as little as you like.
It's funny, you think I would have gotten better as time went on, but no...still the same mindless pap. Oh well. Here's to another 150 posts to clutter the internets that much more.
Greg-o-ry Klein, That's Who I Want to Be...
Stroking My 1st Amendment Rights: Dubya - The Blog Stops Here
Always Bet on Black
Pop Perfection
To the Sixth Dimension and Back
Philosophizing While Peeing
The Mad Shatter
Back in the fifth grade, I was in the Enrichment program. I don't remember much of it, aside from playing Oregon Trail, creating an advertising campaign for a fictional gum company (Sgt. Bubble, I think), and other fun stuff that got me out of class an hour every day.
But one thing I had been carrying around for several years was a time capsule I made in that class. I've been hesitant to open it, as I thought it would be cool to wait and open it at, say, 40 or something. I don't know. But when I arrived here in Austin, I thought it was time to break it open some 14 years later. Guess I got a little too antsy in the pantsy. Here's what I found:
-A letter I wrote to myself (which is framed and sitting on my desk)
-A letter my Enrichment teacher, Mrs. McCausland, wrote to me
-A picture of my Enrichment class
-Several pages of political cartoons I drew (pretty good, too)
-A Garfield book (so that's where it went)
-Heir to the Empire, a Star Wars book by Timothy Zahn
-A whoopee cushion, although it kinda melted
-A few pennies
-And some sheets of blank paper (because who knew what we'd be writing on in the future)
The gem, though, was the letter I wrote. You can see it above, although the quality is poor from my phone taking a picture of it behind a frame. Meh. But I will transcribe it so you can see how much of a smartass I was.
Dear future Greg Klein,
I am writing from the fifth grade a letter. Mrs. McCausland, my Enrichment teacher, is making me write this letter. By the time you read this, you will be graduating from high school. Go figure! My favorite group is Paperboy. Song is "Ditty." My girlfriend is Kendra Lewis. If she still is, slap yourself in the face. Is your favorite finger sign still the middle? Hope so. Well, get on with your life. Remember Peck (R)
No, not that kind. But I am willing to shank someone, should they ask nicely. Just thought I'd put that out there.
I speak of the forthcoming writers' strike in Hollywood. This has been brewing for months now as the Writers Guild of America (yay!!) and Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (boo!!) have not seen eye-to-eye in regards to DVD royalties and some amount of reimbursement for "new media" revenue.
Should this strike go into effect on Monday, shows like "The Daily Show" and "Late Night" will be the first affected, as they write their shows on a regular basis. Primetime shows usually have a few shows in reserve, so they'll be covered for a few weeks (depending on their number of finished episodes). It's really too bad that David Letterman and Conan O'Brien will be immediately hurt, while shows like "Journeyman" and "Desperate Housewives" are safe for the time being.
Of course, I side with the writers, and would never dream of crossing the picket line to help out the enemy (although if you make the right offer, Viacom, I could maybe write for Comedy Central...just sayin'). What the writing staff does is amazingly important and usually looked over, as the emphasis is what usually goes on in the front of the camera. The creative process is a tough one, and I think they should hold out as long as they need to...entertainment industry be damned!
Right now, the shows I could soon be missing are few: Heroes, Dexter, various late-night shows. But what I'm really afraid of isn't the fact that we'll be seeing more reruns, it's the probable increase of reality shows and game shows. You thought "Who Wants to Marry My Dad" was bad? Just you wait until the producers are given the reins to think up new reality pap. I'm shivering at the thought of eighteen "American Idol" ripoffs, three simultaneous "Celebrity Moles," countless dating reality shows, and maybe (fingers crossed) "Honeymoon in Cambodia." Actually, I may watch the last one and bet how long until they're murdered and their organs are sold for opium. Now that's good television!
Stay tuned, fooligans, and see what happens.
And what better way to start off NaBloPoMoJoJoGloFo than with some quality humor. I was recently told about a website called baratsandbereta.com, which is pretty much two guys from Gonzaga who film some awesome short skits. I hear they do pretty well for themselves on YouTube, and are even working on creating something for NBC. What you'll see below is titled "MANtage," and is pure, undiluted silliness and hilarity.
Oh, and happy November, everyone...doesn't it seem this year has just flown by? It seems like only last month I was quitting my job in Albuquerque, starry-eyed and full of west coast pipe dreams. Oh well, Austin has worked out pretty nicely so far; I really can't complain about seeing Hot Hot Heat, De Novo Dahl, and Rilo Kiley so far, along with upcoming shows Aesop Rock, Architecture in Helsinki, The Hold Steady, and maybe Gwar and the Polyphonic Spree (although I've missed Man Man, White Rabbits, Del, Atmosphere, and probably many others...). There's really too much, and I LUB it. But until tomorrow, when I hopefully have something a little more to contribute, I bid you all adieu. Enjoy the clip; I know you will.
Happy Halloween, fooligans. It's been far too long since I last posted; lots of tricks and treats in that time. But instead of regaling you with these tales, let's just enjoy some good Halloween cheese, courtesy of one Danny Elfman. But that's why you came here, right? Riiiiight. BOO!
Otherwise, I would have watched this interview with Stephen Colbert on Meet the Press this morning discussing his plans to run for president in South Carolina. My mom actually woke me up after watching it, scratching her head over the seriousness (or lack thereof) of his responses. I have a feeling she's not part of the Colbert Nation, though. As for Russert, you can tell he had trouble keeping it together at certain parts, but I think he got the joke and took it all in stride, which generated some pretty decent back-and-forths between the two. See what you missed while you were sleeping off last night's fun; I'm sure you'll enjoy it as well.
A good day today, fooligans. After a long stint of Guitar Hero II last night, I visited the Blue Bonnet Cafe in Marble Falls this morning and had some eggs, sausage, grits, and biscuits and gravy; some real down home cooking, y'all. Then I was treated to Mizzou opening up a can of jellied whoop ass against Texas Tech, holding their high-powered offense to just 10 points. But I digress...
Although I found out a bit too late that Man Man was playing here tonight (I'm still amazed how I missed it, I really would have liked to see them.), I decided to take this night to finally complete a CD that's been in my head for far too long, titled "This Is How Indie Kids Dance." I really had no parameters, just had a lot of fun, danceable songs I wanted to use. As always, I ended up with a long list, but after some trimming, I'm pleased with the end result. Let me know your thoughts. Or heck, burn it and entertain a party. Well, for 80 minutes, that is. After that, you're on your own. Better get some more dip. Hey, is that Yahtzee? Break it out!
1. Le Tigre - Deceptacon
2. Liars - Mr. Your on Fire Mr.
3. Modest Mouse - Dashboard
4. LCD Soundsystem - Daft Punk Is Playing at My House
5. Ghostland Observatory - Sad Sad City
6. TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
7. The Postal Service - Such Great Heights
8. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet
9. Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks
10. The Shins - Turn a Square
11. Hot Hot Heat - Bandages
12. The Faint - Glass Danse
13. Q and not U - Soft Pyramids
14. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth
15. The Rapture - House of Jealous Lovers
16. The Dismemberment Plan - The City
17. Against Me! - Stop!
18. Broken Social Scene - Almost Crimes
19. The Hives - Hate to Say I Told You So
20. Bloc Party - Banquet
21. The White Stripes - Hotel Yorba
This drawing manifested itself after a visit to The Plot Bank. I was surfing through it looking for something to get my writing juices flowing and happened upon this gem, but further extrapolation could only be conveyed by MS Paint. Besides, I write all the time, this was much more fun.
For years, spiders gave me the heebity jeebities. Even the sight of these eight-legged freaks made me curl up in the fetal position while crying for someone much stronger than I to squash it or give it a Viking funeral down the toilet. Sure, people tell me they serve a purpose by killing all the smaller, more annoying bugs that buzz by our faces and bite any exposed flesh, but I don't buy it; I still see plenty of gnats and mosquitoes. And the spiders? They spend their days hiding in my shower or between my washer and dryer, making me scream like a five-year-old girl after I turn on the light and they scurry for my toes. *shudder*
But after moving to Austin, I've had to get used to a much larger quantity of spiders. My apartment complex is full of old oaks and other trees with many low-lying branches. Between these branches are spiders, from large to small, weaving some amazingly intricate webs and just hanging out in the center of them, waiting for dinner to drop by. These kind of spiders I can respect; they're earning their keep, not like those lazy desert spiders who made their homes in the dark nooks and crannies of my apartment. Granted, I still have a long way to go to get over my fear of arachnids (which is why I refrained from doing any links with spider images in them), but it has been really cool to look up and see a sprawling web swaying in the breeze. That's all.
It’s now been a week since my move to Austin, and so far, I’ve really enjoyed it. It’s been quite the departure from the desert of New Mexico, but the rolling green hills are a welcome change. A not-so-welcome change has been the humidity; and yes, while I lived with the humidity of Columbia, it seems a bit stickier here.
But in the words of McWatt, “Oh well, what the hell.” Really, the weather is the only thing I can bitch about thus far. It’s been great living next to my sister (apartment complexes across the street) and hanging out with her. Also, a friend from college lives in a neighboring town 45 minutes away (Marble Falls). We got together Friday, he introduced me to Dexter (an amazing series on Showtime), and we went out for drinks. Fun times.
Then Sunday, I took in a concert, as I hear that a few bands like to visit Austin. I saw Rilo Kiley, and they put on a great show at a venue called Stubbs, which is a BBQ restaurant with an outdoor stage behind it. Pretty cool scene. Then next Tuesday, I get to see Fujiya & Miyagi, which should be a fun show. Send my sister a message telling her she should see them with me. While I don’t mind flying solo at concerts, it’s always nice to enjoy it with friends.
But meeting people here haven’t been a problem. My neighbors seem nice, and I’ve met others at the bars and the concert, although the latter ditched me when they said to meet at the Whataburger and never showed (their loss…I think I’m pretty cool). But everyone has been friendly, chatty…quite the departure from the Burque, which was a very cliquey city that’s pulled a gun on me before. And really, who needs that, besides women in abusive relationships? Sorry, too far?
Also, with the change of cities, I thought it was high time to quit smoking. Cigarettes, that is (although I’m clean on the green stuff as well). I had my last one Sunday, eight days ago, and I feel better for doing so; ten years had been long enough.
And now I have the internets, so all is well. I really think I made the right choice moving here. The non-grid road system will take a little getting used to (also, the hills at night make it easy to lose your direction), but I’m learning my general area, which has a lot of cool shops and restaurants.
Now the next big hurdle: a J-to-the-O-to-the muthafrakkin-B. I’ve applied to do some post-production video encoding and titling, but have yet to hear back from them. I’d love to do something film-wise, but I guess we’ll see. Until then, I’ll put the resume out there, write in my spare time, and hopefully meet some funny souls interested in making some sketch comedy/shorts. Drop me a line if you’re that person. Talk to you all soon, fooligans.
...I think you know how to finish the rest of that (and yes, "Fuck kU" is also accepted).
Saturday, the Tigers rolled over Nebraska 41-6, keeping the Corhuskers out of the end zone all game. It was a very impressive win for Mizzou (especially for their defense, which had been questionable), and jumped them to #11 on both polls. But while it's easy to be giddy about the Tigers right now (and it is...how about that fake FG? I heart teh trickery), an even bigger hurdle awaits them next week: Oklahoma.
The Sooners have looked good all year, and are a much more solid team than Nebraska. Plus, this game is in Norman. But with how the Texas TE's put up big numbers against OU last Saturday, I think Mizzou can do the same with theirs. It starts with Chase Daniel and how he follows up a career day against an always-scary OU defense. Let's hope Tony Temple can make a healthy return and establish himself on the ground; it will give Daniel the freedom to run the stretch offense as effectively as he did against Nebraska. The defense also needs to hold fast again, as OU can put up a bunch of points on the board.
Should the Tigers win, you can start talking BCS for them (although they follow up that game with stints against Texas Tech and, later, A&M and an unbeaten Kansas team). But after seeing them whoop up on Nebraska, I'm definitely humming a different tune about their chances this weekend, and ultimately, the Big 12 North. All we can do is watch and cheer them on.
GO TIGERS!!!!
So I'm currently rewatching Battlestar Galactica because...well, because the show is frakking amazing. After watching the episode in which Starbuck interrogates Leoben for the first time, it got me thinking about her role in the grand scheme of things. But first...
***The following contains spoilers and hypothetical, hyperbolic guesses from the end of Season 3 and beyond***
Granted, the people who read P2S either a)don't watch the show, or b) are well-versed in their BSG and are probably like me and outraged we still have to wait until January for new episodes. But I digress...
The end of Season 3 saw the return of Starbuck, returning to the fleet after supposedly spending some amount of time on Earth, and ready to guide them to the thirteenth colony. We also were given four of the final five Cylons, with the fifth still a mystery. Which begs the question, "Who's the last toaster?"
Starbuck seems like an obvious answer...almost too obvious. I won't get into who I think the twelfth is (but I have my guesses), but rather stick to Starbuck. She could be a messenger sent by the Lords of Kobol to help guide the humans to Earth, which would make her a holy figure and therefore explains her coming back from the dead. But...and this is way out there...what if she is a Cylon, but rather than the twelfth, is the thirteenth?
Twelve colonies, twelve Lords of Kobol, twelve Zodiac signs...you gotta love the math and symbolism behind having twelve Cylons. But with Earth being the "13th colony," could Starbuck be the thirteenth Cylon? And not only that, but possibly the god of the Cylons? Some kind of overarching character meant to unite all the Cylons and humans together to make Earth the new Caprica? Whoa, where did that just come from? That may have been a bit much, but Starbuck has returned from the grave, is tied up in the grand scheme of the prophecy, has many religious parallels (her Eye of Jupiter drawings, the Aurora statuette [the goddess of dawn]?), and our only knowledge of her memories are hallucinations guided by Leoben (could they have been implanted, i.e. Boomer?). She's something special alright, and I think it transcends the simple duality of human/Cylon. Starbuck may end up being the most important character in this series, but to what end, we can only wait to find out. You can believe that everyone aboard Galactica will think she's a Cylon initially.
...whew. I could go on, but packing awaits. What are your thoughts on the above rantings? Either comment or shoot me an email; I really would like to discuss this at length, preferably over a more eloquent medium than blogging. Damn I love this show. So say we all.
This Sunday, I finally get the hell out of Dodge and make the move for Austin. We here at P2S are quite excited, and a little scared, at the thought of moving to a new city. What will I be doing out there? That's a good question; I'll let you know when I find the answer. But with Albuquerque in my rear view sights, I feel pretty darn good at what opportunities await me out there.
Until then, this and the post above may be my last for a while as I set up residence. I'll send you all an email with the new address for you to send me many tidings of good welcome. Fruit, flowers, cookies, monkey butlers...I'm not choosy. Take care, fooligans.
Who says you have to go to Austin to find worthwhile musical entertainment? Oh yeah, I did, which is why I'm moving there (among other well thought-out reasons). But still, New Pornographers tonight. Sunshine Theater. I hope to see all you mass romantics there.
No, I speak not of the creative mastermind behind What We All Want, Decatur CD's blog, Prefix Magazine's website, and eventual musical world supremacy, or even the Austin with the Robert Goulet voice and boyish bad-boy charm, but the little known city in Texas. That Austin will be my next home starting October 1, and I hear they have an alright music scene (I hope I can see a concert or two while I'm there...fingers crossed).
In fact, P2S will be on a bit of a hiatus while I visit there this week and scout out the area. I'll be back on Saturday and will try to give some longer info and posts then.
Oh, and thanks to all who came and rocked out at our fire shows, they went amazingly well. In fact, I only lit one small child on fire, so I consider that a success on both counts (low fatality count, but still, there was a fatality count. Awesome.). Take care until then, fooligans.
EDIT: Showing how good of a friend I am, the website Austin manages is Paste. Now that I see the site and the magazine cover, I realize I was waaaaay off. Sorry Austin. Saustin.
I'm a little late in posting this, but here is the full schedule of fire shows my group, Agni Mirage, will be performing at the New Mexico State Fair. We had our first performance tonight, and while the wind proved a formidable foe, the show looked awesome. You can find us south of the Manuel Lujan building, on the main street that runs west of it. Ch-check it out!
9/11 - Tuesday: 8-9
9/13 - Thursday: 8-9
9/16 - Sunday: 7:45-8:45
9/17 - Monday: 7:45-8:45
9/21 - Friday: 8-9
While the loss of this amazing singer is a sad one, we can still enjoy one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard: "Parigi, O Cara," the final duet of Verdi's La Traviata. It starts about at about 1:30, but the lead-in is pretty good, too. His voice will truly be missed.
